Prepping for the Master Cleanse...the WRONG Way

I have two recipes that were my great-grandmother’s: chili and chicken and dumplings. They are a mainstay of my family’s winter menu and I enjoy them much more than I should. This week, I have made both. It’s not that it’s been unusually cold—it’s actually been rather warm for this time of year. But I know that, after Saturday, I won’t be able to enjoy them again for quite some time. So, I indulged.

Master Cleanse Preparation Rachael-Style

A smart person would have taken this week to slowly wean away from caffeine, junk food, and rich dishes—especially if that person had done the cleanse before and knew what the first day is like if you don’t prepare properly. But, I am not a particularly smart person when it comes to things like that.

My mentality is: use up all the coke in the house so that you don’t waste any and aren’t tempted to have one later, AND eat yourself stupid. Oh, and by the way, you can’t have coffee anymore, so you better use up all of that wonderful peppermint mocha creamer and thoroughly enjoy the heavenly experience that is coffee. This is a terrible, terrible approach to this whole wellness journey, but it’s sort of my way of saying goodbye to the things I’m going to have to give up. (Yes, this is a rationalization, but I’m the only one who’s going to suffer from it so it’s ok.)

Proper Master Cleanse Preparation

For anyone who is not an idiot and would like to know how to prep the right way, I’m probably not the person to ask. However, I’ve been told that you should set a start day—which I did, by the way—and go through the process of eliminating unhealthy items from your diet and pantry in the week or so before your cleanse. You should cut down dramatically on caffeine and sugar and start mentally preparing for the experience. Well…I did two of those things, so I get partial credit, right?

Mental Preparation

I am so excited to start my cleanse, but dreading it at the same time. It’s a strange sort of feeling. For example, I detest the flush portion of the cleanse, but I am looking forward to that hour or so that I’ll have to just sit quietly, study scripture, pray, and reflect. I’m positively dreading the caffeine detox on day 1, but I’m also looking forward to having it out of my body and not needing caffeine to function anymore.

I haven’t done any real mental prep that I can define, other than thinking about what’s about to happen and how much better I’ll feel after it’s over. This isn’t a deeply spiritual experience for me, although I did have spiritual experiences last time while on the cleanse. But the cleanse itself is just a means to an end. It’s the first step on my journey—nothing more, nothing less.