Getting Back to Roots

It recently occurred to me that the original intent of this blog has gone by the wayside a bit. What started as a journey toward better health has culminated into pretty much whatever life throws at me in the moment. And, while I’m ok with that, I did feel like perhaps the occasional mention of what brought me here in the first place would be appropriate.

It really has nothing to do with New Year’s. I know most people make resolutions, and one of the most popular resolutions is to lose weight/get healthy. Sure I want to do those things, too, but I gave up resolutions some time ago. You can read why here: New Year 2011

No, it’s really more because I’ve neglected my blog for so long, despite having many, many things to say. It’s feeling like I owe it to myself to take just a few moments every couple of days to write something just for me. So if you’ll forgive me a few hundred words, I’d like to ramble a bit.

Why Is It So Stinkin' Hard to Drink Water?

Water. It’s the stuff life is made of. Our bodies are comprised of an overwhelming percentage of it. It is Earth’s most precious natural resource barring oxygen. It’s pure goodness and so very useful for a multitude of things. Why, then, is it so blasted difficult to drink?!?!?

I try to drink water, I really do. But it’s really a challenge for me. Water is so bland, so tasteless, so….water. It’s not even that I don’t like water. Water that comes from my well is very good as water goes. I won’t touch city water with a 10-foot pole, but that’s city water—you can hardly even call that stuff water, if you want my opinion about it. Good, crisp well water, however, is quite nice. It just doesn’t taste as good as practically anything that has sugar in it is all.

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

I cheated today. I had Dr. Pepper. If I had been smart, I would have taken a bunch of water with me…or drank the La Croix that I did take with me. But no, I didn’t do that.

It started innocently enough. We had to go pick up my step-daughter for the weekend, which is a 2 hour drive one way. I wanted something with some flavor and that would last the trip, so I rationalized that Sprite did not have caffeine. I got a fountain drink and sipped on it.

Then, once we got M, my step-daughter, we needed to pay a visit to my niece since we’d have to miss her birthday party this weekend. We knew it would be late getting home, so we opted to eat at the cheapest place we could think of—Taco Bell. 6 people for less than $20…you can’t beat it. I got one large cup to share with the whole family. We put Dr. Pepper in it.

The Master Cleanse and New Beginnings

It took me two hours this morning to get up the gall to do my flush, but once I started I was ok. I’m actually feeling pretty good right now. I’m working on my 10^th glass of lemonade and I only have a mild headache. Of course, I’ve been drinking water like it’s going out of style, too, so I’m wondering if that has helped to minimize the caffeine withdrawal symptoms.

I’m actually just a tad concerned that I’m not feeling like I’m about to die. Don’t get me wrong…I am most grateful that the first day has not been like it was the last time. But at the same time, I should be seriously detoxing from caffeine right now and I feel fine for the most part. So I have to wonder if the worst is yet to come, or worse—the cleanse isn’t doing anything.

The Master Cleanse and Hunger

I was not remotely hungry up until about two hours ago. That’s when the family ate. Grilled cheese sandwiches…and they smelled sooo good. C was originally going to make bacon and eggs, but I gave him a look, while calling him evil, that suggested his life may be at risk if he made me smell bacon cooking right now. ;)

Defining Addiction

I’d like to be clear about something before I get too far into this journey. I am not, in any way, trying to minimize serious addictions, make myself a victim, or intentionally publish false or inaccurate information. I do feel that “addicted” best describes my relationship with soft drinks because I feel like I have to have them. And, since Coke is my soft drink of choice, the play on words was too much to resist. But to say that cola addiction is a medically recognized disorder—no, that’s not what I’m doing. So please don’t misunderstand me.

Now that we have that cleared up, I thought it might be appropriate to discuss what addiction really is.

Dishydrotic Eczema: The New Leprosy

Ok, I admit that this title may be a bit misleading. Dishydrotic eczema, also called dishydrosis and pompholyx, is neither new nor a form of leprosy. But it can make you feel like you have a flesh-eating disease, so that’s how I’m justifying my choice of words.

I have had the lovely good fortune to develop dishydrosis in recent months. It started out innocent enough—just a few tiny little bumps on one of my fingers that were strange but didn’t bother me. It stayed this way for weeks so I didn’t think much of it. Then…well, it got angry.

Addictions Come in Many Forms

Street drugs. Prescription pain killers. Alcohol. Pornography. Gambling. Most of us know and recognize these things as forms of addiction. Mine is Coke. Not the white powdery substance you may be thinking—I’ve never actually even seen that stuff in person. No, my Coke is a darkly colored, delightfully sweet, and magnificently bubbled liquid…and I swear, the white stuff could not possibly be more addictive than what I’m using.

Coke is but one of my unhealthy addictions, but it’s the one that makes me the maddest because
it just seems so ridiculous.

I mean, they’ve long known that cigarettes have a chemical that make it difficult for your brain to let them go. That one I don’t feel quite as bad about—at least not from a psychological standpoint. But cola? Who the heck can’t go through their day without at least 6 cans of soda? Me, that’s who!

For the longest time, it was Dr. Pepper. For nearly 15 years it was Dr. Pepper. I didn’t even care for Coke all that much. Then one day several months ago, I got a craving for Coke and we’ve had a shameful love affair ever since. Now, I know that Dr. Pepper is soda, too—that’s why I mentioned it. For nearly half my life, I’ve been incredibly dependent on soft drinks.

An Addiction to Sugar, Caffeine, or Both?

I am a firm believer that high fructose corn syrup—the stuff they sweeten these drinks with—is addictive. I also believe that sugar in and of itself is addictive, no matter the form. I had periods of time that I didn’t drink as much cola, but I did have to have my sweet tea. I could go through a gallon of that stuff in one day all by myself. When I’ve tried to give up soft drinks by not buying them, I default to drinking tea instead of water. Our tea is very, very sweet.

Then there’s the caffeine. Oh, what would I do without my glorious caffeine? I can drink an entire pot of coffee in just a few hours and not think a thing about it. After that, I start in on my Coke. It’s ridiculous! I would bet I get more caffeine in one day than most people get in a week. I know it’s doing nothing for my insomnia except making it worse, but I seriously cannot get through my day without it.

Making a Choice

I’ve been this addicted to Coke and caffeine before. I gave it up—for a while. You can read my story here if you have a while to wade through it. So I know I can come off this stuff, however unpleasant the process may be. It’s staying off it that’s the problem. But I have to. My addiction is doing more than making me fat and keeping me up at night. I believe it may be killing me. And so, I’ve made a choice to begin a journey—and I hope you’ll share it with me.